


When Your Heart Begins to Break

by OnyxDay



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Elementary School, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Rock star, Angst, Bisexual Peggy Carter, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes is the Gayest, But I Know Where I'm Going This Time, Canon Disabled Character, Child Abuse, Deaf Clint Barton, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Growing Up Together, Homophobia, I Have An Ending And Everything, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, LGBTQ Character, M/M, Orphans, Punk Bucky Barnes, Work In Progress, this is not a happy fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-15 00:07:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3430550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnyxDay/pseuds/OnyxDay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky and Steve have known each other all their lives. They've been there for each other for everything, the highs and the lows (both figuratively and literally), so it comes as no surprise to any of their friends when they start dating. Of course, the course of love never did run smooth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Bucky frowns at the back of his Dad's seat as he drives him and his sister to their new school. He didn't like moving, even if it was only to another part of Brooklyn, and he didn't like moving away from the few friends he had. Becca leans against the window in the passenger seat, headphones playing something from her walkman. Their dad's car slows down in front of a school and he turns around to give Bucky a small smile.

"Hope you have a good day kiddo." He tells him. Bucky unclips himself from his seat and grabs his backpack.

"Bye Dad. Bye Becca." He says as he gets out of the car. Becca unrolls her window and holds out her fist for him to bump.

"It'll be great Bucky, just you see." She winks at him then Dad drives away, leaving Bucky standing on the sidewalk in front of his new school.

Bucky sighs and walks forward, eyes glancing around as he makes his way through the throngs of small kids to the front of the school. he shoves his hands into the pockets of his jacket, feeling the chill of the October air. The kids around him laugh and chase each other around the grass in front of the school. Over to one side a group of kids form a circle around something. Bucky stops and frowns at the group, a bad feeling settling in his gut. Becca always told him to trust that feeling, so he walks over to the group. As he gets closer he hears what the kids are saying.

"Yeah, Mark!"

"Just stay down Rogers!"

"Gonna cry to Mommy and Daddy? Oh, that's right, you can't!"

"Hey!" Bucky yells, pushing through the crowd. The kids were standing around as a much larger kid, Mark, was beating up a much, much smaller kid, who even now was struggling to put up a fight. Bucky steps between them and crosses his arms over his chest, trying to look intimidating. Mark stops and gives him a wary look.

"Who are you?" Mark asks.

"I'm the guy who's not gonna let you beat up on someone smaller than you." Bucky tells him. Mark smirks at him and tries to throw a punch. Being only eight years old, his form is a bit off, so Bucky just grabs his arm and lets his own momentum throw him to the ground. Mark lands in a small patch of mud and Bucky turns to the other kids with a glare.

"Get outta here!" He yells at them. Two of the kids go over to Mark and lift him out of the mud and the rest of them scatter. Bucky turns to the smaller kid and smiles gently.

"Hi. 'm Bucky." He holds out his hand and the other kid grabs it, using it to pull himself up.

"Steve. And I didn't need your help. I had 'em on the ropes." Steve says sullenly. Bucky rolls his eyes.

"Sure ya did Stevie. But I don't like bullies, so I figured I'd help ya out." Bucky tells him. Steve frowns, which causes his bloody lip to start bleeding again. "Why don't I help ya to the nurses, 'kay?" Bucky suggests, putting a hand on Steve's arm. Steve shrugs and lets Bucky help him toward the front of the school, picking up his book bag, which had been knocked away from him, on their way over.

"So, why'd Mark decide ta give ya a split lip?" Bucky asks as Steve leads him toward the Nurse's room.

"Dunno. He's a bully." Steve mumbles pointing to the door that says 'Nurse'. "You should get to class."

Bucky shrugs. "Don't know where it is. I'll stay with ya, and you can show me." Bucky suggests as he opens the door.

"Good morning Nurse Carter." Steve greets as he enters the small room. A woman with curled brown hair looks up and frowns.

"You're in here early Steve. And you've got a friend." The Nurse comments, walking around her desk.

"James Barnes, ma'am. Most people call me Bucky though." Bucky tells her, letting go of Steve so she can lead him over to the small bed in the room. "Some kid was beatin' on him, and I stepped in 'fore it could get worse."

"That was kind of you James. And please, call me Nurse Carter or Amanda, no need for all that 'ma'am' business." Nurse Carter tells him as she examines Steve's face. "I've got to clean your lip, and it might sting." She tells Steve before taking a cotton swab and pouring antiseptic on it. "Hold still for me, please." She carefully applies the antiseptic to the cut on Steve's lip. Bucky watches as he sits there, barely even flinching, even though Bucky knows how much antiseptic hurts. "Good job Steve. Let me see your knuckles." Steve holds out his hands and the nurse takes them into hers, flipping them over to look at his knuckles. "Bucky, can you hand me the gauze? It's on the shelf in a container."

Bucky walks over to the counter and finds the container labelled 'gauze'. He picks it up and brings it over to her, not wanting to touch it with his dirty hands.

"Here you go Nurse Carter." He says, looking down at Steve's split knuckles. He probably got in a few hits of his own earlier in the fight, which Bucky tries not to be proud of.

"Thank you Bucky. I'll just clean these and wrap them up, then you two can get to class." As she tells them this she cleans out the wounds. "Now Steve, remember what I told you about fighting?" She asks as she starts to wrap up his left hand.

"If I have to, I should use my feet. My hands are tools for creation, not destruction." Steve answers, as if he's reciting something he read in a book. Nurse Carter nods and tapes down the gauze.

"Very good. I don't want to wrap up your hands again, you hear me?" She asks, wrapping the other hand. Steve nods. "Good. Now, you keep Bucky with you, he seems like a good friend to have." She turns and winks at Bucky and he blushes. "Now go on, get to class." She tapes the last of the gauze and pulls out a small sheet of paper. "I'll write you a pass, but I better not see you in here again today." She gives them both a stern glare and signs the paper. Steve takes it and they both exit the room.

"She's kinda scary, don't'cha think?" Bucky comments as they walk down the empty hallway. Steve shrugs.

"I s'pose. 'm used to her though, so I guess I don't notice." Steve says. Bucky nods.

"Cause you're in there a lot?" Steve shrugs again, which Bucky takes to mean yes. They continue walking until they reach a red door.

"This is Miss Ororo's room." Steve tells him. Bucky takes out the slip of paper in his pocket and checks the name.

"That's what it says here. Are you in this class?" Bucky asks him, hopeful. Steve nods and they both smile. Bucky knocks on the door and a young girl with brown curls and brown eyes opens it.

"Hi Steve." She greets him, stepping out of the way.

"Hey Peggy. Your mom says hi." Steve tells her, walking to Miss Ororo's desk. "Sorry we're late Miss Ororo. I had to go to the nurse's and Bucky was helping me." He tells her, handing her the slip.

"Bucky? Oh, you mean James." The teacher, a dark skinned woman with white hair smiles at Bucky.

"James Barnes, ma'am." He smiles and holds out a hand for her to shake, which she does with a small smile. "Most people call me Bucky though."

"It's nice to meet you Bucky." She smiles bigger and turns to the class. "Everyone, this is Bucky. He's new, so why don't we introduce ourselves. We'll go around and say our name and one thing about ourselves, just like we did on the first day. Peggy, why don't you start."

The girl who opened the door for them stands up and waves.

"My name's Peggy Carter and my mom's the nurse, who you probably know 'cause you helped Steve." She sits down again and the next person stands up.

"I'm Timothy Dugan, but lotsa people call me Dum Dum, cause I really like Dum Dum lollypops." The next kid, a stocky red-head says with a big smile and a slight Southern accent says, smiling.

"M'name's Clint Barton. I'm mostly deaf in both my ears, so I gotta wear hearing aids, even though I don't like 'em." A kid with sandy blonde hair and a purple shirt with an arrow on it says. Bucky can see the two flesh colored aids in his ears.

"Hi! I'm Tony Stark, I like robots." Tony has wild brown hair and wide brown eyes. Bucky's not sure how he feels about the kid, he seems really loud.

"I'm Bruce Banner. Um. Tony's my best friend, and I like science." Bruce is about the same size as Tony, but he seems smaller.

"We're Science Bros!" Tony shouts, turning around to give Bruce a high five.

"My name's James too, but I'm called Jim. Morita." A small Asian kid says. "I wanna be a doctor when I grow up."

After Jim there's Scott, who's blind, Katherine, called Kitty, Peter, who insists upon being called Starlord of all things, and Leo and Jemma who everyone seems to just call Fitzsimmons. Bucky smiles at all of them and Miss Ororo tells him to take a seat by Steve, since Bucky already knows him.

The first half of Bucky's first day in his new first grade class progresses in a daze of counting, writing, reading, and learning about animals. He spends lunch with Steve, Jim, Dum Dum, and Peggy, who then spend recess with him, running around calling themselves the Howling Commandos. When Miss Ororo calls them back inside they all sit down on the floor in front of a man in a wheelchair.

"I'm sure you all remember Dr Xavier, the guidance counselor." Miss Ororo says. "Bucky, since you're new I'd like you to meet Charles Xavier. He'll come in every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon to teach the class."

"Hello Bucky." Dr Xavier greets him, smiling kindly down at him from his chair. Bucky smiles nervously back.

"Now then class, I want you to remember to treat Dr Xavier with the same amount of respect you give me, okay?" The class gives out various versions of 'yes' and Miss Ororo smiles, going behind her desk and letting Dr Xavier speak.

"We're gong to start of the month of October talking about bullying. This month is national bullying prevention month, which means it's my job, and your job, to stop bullying if you see it." Dr Xavier explains. Bucky looks over at Steve and sees the smaller boy blushing and looking at his lap. "Who can tell me what bullying is?"

Bucky raises his hand immediately and Dr Xavier nods to him.

"Bullying is when someone with more power picks on someone with less power, just 'cause they think they can 'cause they think they're stronger than them." Bucky says proudly.

"Very good Bucky. Anyone else?" Jemma raises her hand and Dr Xavier calls on her.

"When someone uses soupier strength or in-flu-ence to in-ti-mi-date someone, tippi-cally to force him or her to do what they want." Jemma answers, stumbling over some of the words when she recites the definition.

"Well done Jemma. Can anyone tell me the kinds of bullying there are?" Tiny first-grader hands sly into the air. "Bruce?"

"There's the kind where kids hit each other and it's not for play, and one'a them gets hurt." Bruce answers, playing with his sleeves.

"We call that one physical bullying, because it hurts the body. Anyone else?" Clint strains his arm up high over his head. "Yes Clint?"

"There's the yelling kind, where everyone get's really loud 'cept one'a them's cryin' and I hafta turn down my hearing aids 'cause I don't like yellin'." Clint says. A lot of the kids nod sagely in agreement.

"Yes, that's good Clint. That one would be verbal bullying. What other kinds of verbal bullying are there, other than when someone yells." Xavier asks. Bucky looks over at Steve and sees the tiny kid raise his hand high. "Yes, Steve?"

"Sometimes instead'a just yellin' they call 'em names, and those hurt a lot, but not like gettin' hit or kicked or somethin', they hurt in here." Steve points to his chest. "And sometimes those can stick around a lot longer than just bruises, cause they're attackin' your heart." Steve frowns and sticks out his lip. "S'why I don't like it when people say 'sticks an' stones may break my bones, but words'll never hurt me', 'cause words hurt more'n sticks or stones or anythin'."

"Yes, that is a good point Steve. We sometimes call this emotional bullying. This is why we need to be careful when we use our words, we might say something that some one doesn't like. What should you do if you call someone a name and you didn't mean to be hurtful?"

This time Tony raises his hand and Dr Xavier calls on him.

"You 'pologize an' tell 'em you didn't mean to make 'em sad, them you don't call 'em that name ever again, 'cause you don't wanna make your friend sad again." Tony glances over to Bruce and smiles, then turns to Steve and gives him a thumbs up. Bucky watches as Steve smiles back and sends Tony his own thumbs up.

Dr Xavier has a few volunteers had out worksheets to the class and they spend the rest of the day answering whether something is emotional, physical, or verbal bullying. During the last ten minutes of class they help Miss Ororo clean up the classroom and then she sends them outside to play until their parents pick them up.

Steve, Bucky, Peggy, Dum Dum, and Jim all continue playing as the Howling Commandos, running around and taking turns at being rescued. Jim ends up being picked up first, and they all say goodbye before resuming their play. Then Dum Dum's dad calls him over and he leaves. Nurse Carter calls for Peggy to help her carry her things to their car and then it's just Steve and Bucky.

"Hey Stevie, do you wanna come over to my house this weekend?" Bucky asks. Steve frowns and picks at his lower lip.

"I dunno Bucky. I gotta ask the Sisters if it's okay." Steve answers.

"What sisters?" Bucky asks him. Steve blushes in embarrassment.

"I live at the orphanage. My ma died a couple'a years ago an' my dad died during the war." Steve turned away and sniffled. Bucky frowned and rushed forward to hug his friend.

"'m sorry Stevie, I didn't know." Steve turned in his arms and rested his head on Bucky's shoulder. "My ma died when I was real little, right after I was born almost. I think my dad blames me for her dyin', but my sister Becca says that it wasn't my fault. Sometimes people jus' die."

"Sister Agatha says that God has a plan for everyone, and that sometimes His plan means that people we love die." Steve mumbles into Bucky's shoulder. The two first graders just hold onto each other, accepting comfort from the only other person that could understand how they feel.

"Hey Rogers! That your boyfriend?" Steve and Bucky step away from each other and glare at Mark.

"Mark, will you stop bullying this smaller child and fight someone your own size?" A kid about Mark's age steps forward beside Steve and Bucky. While he might be Mark's age, is has quite a few inches on the bully. He has long blonde hair and is already showing signs of being a very big and muscular adult.

"Stay outta this _Thor_ it ain't nun'ya business!" Mark tells the other kid. Thor frowns and crosses his arms over his chest.

"No, it's not. But I don't think it's fair for you to be bullying them. Rogers has never done anything to you, and the new kid just got here! Just leave them alone!" Thor argues. A slightly taller and skinnier kid steps up beside Thor and raises one black eyebrow.

"Mark, I would strongly suggest you cease in your abusive actions towards not only Rogers and his friend, but also every other child here. If you do not, my brother and I will have to… convince you to stop." The new kid's green eyes narrow at Mark and the bully gulps before running away. Thor and his brother turn to Steve and Bucky and Thor grins at them.

"Hello Steven's new friend! I am Thor and this is my brother Loki!" Thor gestures one large, tan hand to the small, pale, dark haired boy. "Steven, I hope Mark no longer feels it necessary to hurt you due to his own feelings of worthlessness."

"Um, thanks Thor." Steve smiles up at the bigger kid.

"Who is your new friend Steven?" Loki asks, looking at Bucky with his piercing green eyes. Bucky frowns at him and opens his mouth to answer.

"Bucky!"

Bucky whips his head around and sees Becca leaning out of their dad's car, waving at him. He smiles and waves back.

"I'm Bucky Barnes. It was nice meetin' ya, and thanks for telling off Mark!" He turns to Steve and hugs him one last time. "See ya tomorrow Steve!" He picks up his backpack and runs off, turning to wave back to Steve one last time before sliding into the backseat.

"Did you have a good time at school?" Becca asks, turning in her seat. Bucky grins and nods his head wildly before starting to describe his day at school.

As they drive off George Barnes watches as a small blonde kid walks toward the orphanage in the rearview mirror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first chapter of what will probably be a very long fic. Unlike most (all) of my other stories, I actually know where this one is going. I even have the last chapter planned out! I'm not sure how long it will actually be, but I do know that it will go through elementary school, high school, a college, and a little bit beyond!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hover over for translation. Sorry if it's not exact, I used google translate. I'll also have the translations at the bottom in order.
> 
> Oh and try to find the hidden messages ;)

Bucky rests his head against the cool glass of his sister's '85 Impala and wills his tears back into his eyes. He can't let Steve know he's been crying, the stupid punk would just get angry and tell Bucky to run away again. No matter how much Bucky wishes he could, he knows he has to stay, at least until Becca turns eighteen and he can live with her.

"Hey, Buck." The car slows down and Becca pulls over to the side of the street. Bucky turns to look at her without lifting his head off the window. She has her hands gripped on the steering wheel and a frown pulling at her mouth.

"What is it Becca?" He asks her.

"I don't like how he talks to you Buck. The things he says…" Becca shakes her head and a few drops of water fall from her eyes. "He wasn't always like this. When Mom was still alive, he was real nice, y'know?" She looks at him with tears running down her cheeks. "But, after she… He was a mess for a long time. I knew he was angry, but I didn't… God, Buck I swear I didn't think he felt like that. I didn't think he blamed you for it." Bucky looks away and squeezes his eyes shut. "Bucky, please." Becca's hand touches his shoulder and Bucky turns to look at her. "I need you to know that it wasn't your fault. No matter what lies Dad tells you, I _need_ you to know that Mom's death isn't on you."

"Yeah Becca, I get it." Bucky mumbles at his hands.

"No, Buck, you don't." Becca unclips from her seat and slides across the bench seat. "Listen to me James." Bucky looks up from his hands and stares at her with wide eyes. She only calls him James when it's serious. "What Mom had is called postpartum depression. I've done some research on it, and it affects a lot of women after childbirth. It is not your fault. I hate to say this, because even though she's dead she's still our mom, but she took herself out of our life, so it is her fault." Becca holds his face in her hands. "Do you understand me?"

"Y-yeah, Becca. I understand." Bucky hates to admit it, but his voice cracked on the last word. He leans into her touch and lets his tears spill freely from his eyes.

Becca pulls him a tight hug and lets him cry against her shoulder for a few moments.

"Alright pipsqueak, it's time to wipe off your eyes and head to school." Becca says as she pulls away. Bucky sniffles and opens the glove compartment to retrieve a napkin to wipe at his eyes. Becca slides back across the seat and buckles herself back in before smoothly merging back into traffic.

Bucky watches as his old elementary school passes him by and smiles, thinking back to the time he first met his best friend. Steve's just as tiny as he was back then, but his voice is starting to get deeper and he's learned how to choose his battles. Sorta.

 _At least he ain't gettin' beat up by random bullies no more._ Bucky thinks to himself. Ever since that first day all the kids who thought it'd be cool to pick on the tiny orphan got a swift kick in the butt from Bucky and the glare of a lifetime from Thor, at least until he left for middle school. 'Course, Bucky couldn't be there all the time. A side-effect of being friends with Steve is that you eventually pick up something from him. So when that happened one of the Howling Commandos, usually Peggy since her mom worked at the school, would stick with him until he left for the orphanage or was picked up by a foster parent. Not that there were a lot of those.  For some reason no one wanted to adopt an asthmatic, color-blind, slightly deaf kid that was constantly getting into fights and ending up in the hospital due to either illness or injury.

Becca pulls up in front of the middle school and sighs.

"Can you at least _try_ no to get in a fight on the first day?" Becca asks hopefully.

"Y'know I can't make promises like that. But I'll try ta make sure Steve stays outta trouble." Bucky responds with a smile unclipping from the seat and stepping out of the car.

"Have a good day. Dad's gonna be late again tonight working on the carny case, so I'll pick ya up once I get outta school." Becca holds out her fist and Bucky fist bumps her. "See ya."

"See ya." Becca drives off and Bucky turns to his new school. Much like with the last time he walked into a new school there were kids milling about on the lawn in front of the school, though there were a lot less superhero backpacks. Bucky scans the crowd of kids and sees a fairly large group of them standing to the side of the building.

"Not again." He groans, rolling his eyes and sighing. While he strides toward the flock of students he catches Peggy's eye, who was standing near the front steps with the rest of the Commandos. They gained a few members since first grade, and now they had not only included him, Steve, Jim, Dum Dum and Peggy, they also had James 'Monty' Falsworth, Gabe Jones, and Jaques Dernier who moved to Brooklyn from France with his ma in fourth grade. He jerks his head and she nods, tapping Dum Dum on the shoulder and making a circular motion with her index finger. The group of friends quickly find themselves shoving through the throng of middle schoolers.

"I could do this all day." Steve pants, wiping his face with his sleeve. He holds his fists up like Bucky taught him, but he's already close to collapsing.

"Hey, numb nut, why don't'cha pick on someone your own size?" Bucky says as he steps between the bully and Steve. The Howling Commandos line up behind Steve and Bucky, looking as menacing as a bunch of sixth graders could.

"Little brat deserved it!" The bully growls, glaring at Steve. Bucky sighs and holds up a hand.

"Look, we don't want no trouble. Why don't'cha just walk away now an' we forget this happened, yeah?" Bucky suggests, hoping against hope that this time they can just walk away without harming anyone.

Of course, that doesn't happen, but then again, it never does.

The bully signals to his friends and three large eighth graders step forward. Bucky questions just how long they've been in eighth grade considering one of them has a beard.

"Peggy, get Steve outta here and make sure he's patched up." Bucky calls as the other Howlies step forward to stand beside him.

"I ain't gonna just let you fight for me Buck!" Steve cries out as Peggy gets a hand around his arm.

"An' I ain't gonna let you end up in the hospital again Stevie." Bucky answers.

"What're you doin' jus' standin' there? Why don't one'ya get a teacher 'er somethin'?" Dum Dum asks the kids still watching them.

"Hey, you, pigtails!" Jim points to a girl standing in the circle. "Get the Principal or a teacher or someone!" The girl looks at him with wide eyes before pushing through the crowd and running off. "Hope she went to get someone." He mutters just loud enough for Bucky to hear him.

The first bully throws a punch and Bucky dodges. Then his friends start in on the Commandos and Bucky looses himself in the, unfortunately, familiar motions of fighting someone without actually fighting them. Bully Number One gets a hold of his shirt and Bucky gets a fist in the eye before he can break free of the hold. The crowd around them starts cheering and yelling out to them, but Bucky can't understand what they're saying. Bucky and the Commandos keep dodging and blocking the bullies' hits, though the giant eighth graders end up giving Monty a black eye and Gabe and Dernier both get hit in the ribs before an adult reaches them.

"What is going on here?" A large man with half-glasses yells once he pushes through the blockade of middle schoolers. The bullies immediately step back and Bucky searches for Steve. The tiny blonde pushes past the large guy and goes straight to Bucky.

"It wasn't their fault, sir!" Steve insists, standing in front of Bucky. Glasses guy raises an eyebrow at him and looks at the battered group of sixth graders.

"And whose fault was it exactly?" He asks them. As a unit they all point the the first bully and his cronies.

"Theirs." They say at once. Glasses looks over at the bullies, who only appear to a have a few smudges of dirt and a couple split knuckles between them.

"Uh huh." He scans the crowd of students. "And is that true?" Most of the kids nod, having seen the bullies start the fight. "Right. Well, looks like you're going to be spending your first few weeks in detention boys." He says to the bullies.

"No way! The blonde started it!" Bully One says, glaring at Steve. Glasses takes one look at Steve and raises an eyebrow.

"Of course, Brock. You can tell that to Coach Schmidt when you explain why you can't make it to your first practice." Glasses says, rubbing his nose. Two more teachers step through the crowd and herd the bullies away. Sensing the excitement was over the crowd disperses, leaving only the Commandos and Glasses, who turns to them and smiles.

"Which one of you would like to explain how none of them seemed to have a scratch on them, except for the ones they inflicted upon themselves?"

Bucky glances at the rest of the group and they all shrug.

"Nous ne faisions que nous défendre, monsieur. Nous ne frappons pas les autres, contrairement à ces tyrans." Dernier answered. The teacher frowns and glances around at them.

"What did he say?" He asks them.

"We don't know, sir. We don't speak French." Gabe answers, even though they all learned French when they became friend with Dernier and are now fluent. "Though I think he was trying to say that we were just trying not to get hit, and we don't like to hit others if we don't have to."

"Well, the next time you might want to get in a few good hits, you might not end up with so many bruises." He replies. "I'm Hank by the way. Hank McCoy."

"You're the science teacher. Thor's friend Jane told us about you." Steve says. Hank smiles down at him and nods.

"I certainly am. And you must be the famous Steve Rogers and the Howling Commandos. Both Thor and Jane speak very highly of you, all of you." He nods to the rest of the group.

"It's been nice meeting you, Mr McCoy, but I feel we should get to our classes before we're late." Peggy jumps in, smiling.

"Hm? Oh, yes. Be careful, and try not to get into too many fights, it's only your first day after all." He winks at them and they smile, running off into the school.

They were sorted into homeroom by last name, which meant Steve would be without any of the Commandos to keep him out of trouble. Bucky hopes Stark will at least keep him company, though he and Steve don't always get along all that well. At least he's never tried to beat him up, which Bucky counts as a plus.

Bucky, Peggy, Dum Dum, and Dernier part from the rest of the group and head to their shared homeroom, while Monty, Jim, and Gabe go off to theirs, leaving Steve to walk to his own homeroom alone. Bucky glances back at him a few times, watching him disappear in the crowd, until Peggy punches his arm and tells him to stop pining.

"I ain't pinin'. 'm just worried is all. The punk ain't got a shred of self preservation in 'im, he'd probably pick a fight with a pro wrestler if he saw one pickin' on the little guy." Bucky mutters. His friends exchang Looks with each other and Dum Dum and Dernier both put an arm around his shoulders.

"L'idiot ne réalise pas comment il se sent, le pauvre garçon." Dernier says to Dum Dum.

"Y'know I speak French, Dernier. An' I ain't an idiot." Bucky growls.

"Keep tellin' yourself that, Buck." Dum Dum says, patting him on the shoulder. "One day it might be true."

Bucky laughs and shoves him. "Shut up, Dum Dum."

//⋆\\\

Bucky and Steve don't share any classes until after lunch, so he spends the first two and a half hours of school perpetually worried. When Steve meets up with him at lunch he has three new friends trailing behind him, Sam Sawyer, Junior Juniper, and Pinky Pinkerton. The three are quickly accepted into the fold of the Commandos, especially after they tell them how they ended up friends with Steve in the first place, which consists of varying instances of keeping the little shit outta trouble.

"Steve, buddy, you gotta stop startin' shit you can't finish." Bucky tells him after school the next day as he cleans up Steve's newest set of bruises and scrapes.

"It ain't right how those guys treat people." Steve mutters. Bucky tuts and continues cleaning out a cut on his cheek.

"I know it ain't right, punk. I jus' don't like havin' ta look at ya beat up all the time. If ya really can't just sit around an' watch, then tell a teacher or call one'a the Commandos. Y'know that's what we're here for."

"You don't get it, Buck." Steve says, shaking his head. Bucky frowns and tries to hold him still, but Steve just brushes his hand away and stands. "You don't get it! I know I ain't as strong as you, an' I know 'm always sick, but I gotta do this! I can't just back down, or go runnin', 'cause as soon as I start, I won't stop!" Steve starts crying softly, but his face remains hard and he doesn't acknowledge the tears streaming down his face. "I know I won't live too long, one day I'm gonna die, an' it'll probably be sooner rather than later. So I gotta make my mark in this world while I can, otherwise I just wasted the life my ma gave me waitin' for death. I can't do that Buck, I gotta make it worth somethin'!"

Bucky feels his own tears run down his cheeks and he steps forward to hug Steve, wrapping him up tight in his arms. Steve's own arms hold onto his back and his face presses against Bucky's shoulder.

"Don't you say that, don't you dare say that, an' don't you dare believe it. You could do nothin', an' you still wouldn't be worthless Stevie. Not to me, an' not to anyone that knows ya. You got one'a the biggest hearts I know, an' even though it don't beat the same way other's do, it's still the best one out there, 'cause it's yours." Bucky's voice cracks from the lump in his throat and he chokes out a sob. "I don't ever want you talkin' 'bout you dyin' on me, y'hear? You're gonna be fine, an' you're gonna outlive all'a us, 'cause otherwise once we get up there we're never gonna let ya hear the end of it, 'kay?"

"'kay Buck." Steve mumbles into his shirt.

"Now you gotta promise to stop tryin' ta take one people bigger'n you." Bucky pulls back a little, but keeps close to Steve. "Thor said Loki found ya standin' between two'a those Jotun brothers an' some seventh grader. Y'know how big those lugs are, they could'a-" Bucky chokes and closes his eyes, "they could'a killed ya, Stevie. If Loki hadn't seen ya and stepped in, they could'a beaten you real bad, an' you might not'a made it this time." Bucky flashes back to the last time Steve was in the hospital, hooked up on machines and barely alive. It was the first time he heard Steve's heart murmur. "I don't want ta see ya like that again, y'hear? I don't- I couldn't take it."

Steve's hands clench in Bucky's shirt and he nods.

"I- I'll try Buck. Sometimes, sometimes I ain't gotta choice though. But I'll try."

//⋆\\\

Bucky's smiling as he slides into Becca's car. The project Steve and him made won the science fair, even with Tony and Bruce competing against them. 'Course that might'a been because Tony and Bruce's experiment caught another kid's project on fire, but what were they expecting, aiming the repulser at Fitzsimmons' drones. But then, he and Steve worked really hard on their shield project. Bucky designed a shield that, when thrown the right way, would come back to the thrower kinda like a mix between a boomerang and a frisbee. Steve painted it and showed the judges (Dr McCoy, Dr Selvig and Dr Richards the three science teachers) how it worked. Apparently they were so impressed, not only but the design, but also by the ingenuity, that they all voted it as the winner.

"Hey Becca, you'll never guess what… happened… today…" Bucky starts to trail off as he sees Becca's strained smile. "What happened?"

"It's… nothing." Becca shakes her head.

"It ain't nothin' Becca. What happened?" Bucky asks again. Becca frowns and adjusts her grip on the steering wheel. "What did Dad do this time?"

Becca takes a deep breath before answering. "Y'know how he's been working on the carny case?" Bucky nods, "Well, there's been two more murders. A- A husband wife team. Oh God, Buck," she turns to him with tears in her eyes, "it was Clint's mom and dad. They- they're dead."

Bucky stared at his sister in shock. He felt sick. He didn't- he felt- he was gonna-

Bucky opens his door just in time to throw up on the sidewalk.

Clint wasn't his closest friend, that was Steve, and he wasn't a Commando, but he was still one of Bucky's closest friends. He was the only other kid Bucky knew that lived with Steve in the orphanage, even though he still had- still had-

Becca's hand rests on Bucky's back as he continues to heave.

Clint was cool. He taught him and Steve how to do sign language so they could talk to him when he took out his hearing aids. Sometimes he turned them up really high, and if everyone was real quiet he'd be able to hear what the Sister's were talking about downstairs. When his- when his- when the carnival came to town Clint would get them in for free and they could hang out backstage with all the clowns and jugglers and animals and stuff. And Clint could shoot a bow and arrow, which was really cool, and he said he's teach Bucky how to do it if he wanted. And- And- He had a brother named Barney who was in another carnival like his- like his- his- his-

Bucky steps out of his sister's car, careful to step around the pile of sick that was once in his stomach, but now colored the sidewalk. He runs back to the school and scans all over, but he doesn't see Clint. He doesn't remember seeing him in any of the classes they share either.

"Bucky? What- I thought Becca already picked you up?" Steve asks, walking over to him.

"Where's Clint? Is he- Have ya seen 'im?" Bucky asks him frantically. Steve frowns and shakes his head.

"He didn't come to school today. The Sister's kept him at the orphanage. Why? Buck-"

"I'll explain later, okay? I jus'- I gotta find him, 'kay?" Bucky yells back, already sprinting down the street towards the orphanage.

Becca's car pulls up next to him once he gets halfway to the elementary school. She rolls down her window and slows down to match his pace.

"Hey Forrest Gump, it'll be faster if you let me drive you!" She calls out to him. Bucky stops running and walks around to the passenger side to get in.

"He's at the orphanage still." Bucky tells her. Those are the only words he utter the entire ten minute trip.

As soon as his sister's Impala slows down enough Bucky launches himself out of the car and bounds into the orphanage, not even bothering to sign in as a visitor. He climbs the stairs quickly and bursts into Clint and Steve's shared bedroom out of breath.

Clint in laying curled up on the top bunk of his and Steve's bed. He lifts his head slightly at Bucky's entry, but once he see's who it is he goes back to laying on his side. Bucky climbs up the ladder after toeing off his shoes and sits criss-crossed next to Clint. Clint's ears are empty of his aids, so Bucky taps him softly on the shoulder, but Clint refuses to look at him. Bucky sighs in frustration.

.. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- / .- -... --- ..- - / -.-- --- ..- .-. / -- --- -- / .- -. -.. / -.. .- -.. .-.-.-

Bucky taps out his morse code message on Clint's arm. He waits patiently, then Clint's hand rises up and rests on Bucky's.

\- .... .- -. -.- ... .-.-.- / -. --- - / -.-- --- ..- .-. / ..-. .- ..- .-.. - .-.-.-

Bucky smiles at the reply, glad his friend's talking.

.-- .- -. -. .- / -.. --- / - .... .. ... / ..-. .- -.-. . / - --- / ..-. .- -.-. . ..--..

Clint nods and turns over. Bucky smiles softly and waves hello. Clint doesn't smile, but now Bucky can see his eyes are red from tears.

Bucky raises his eyebrows, points at Clint, then makes an 'o' and a 'k' with his left hand. Clint shakes his head. Bucky raises his eyebrows and points again, then spreads both hands flat, with his palms up, and pulls them toward himself, curling his fingers into claws as he does, then points one index finger at Clint and the other at himself before switching their positions twice. Clint nods and reaches over to the shelf Bucky and Steve helped install for his hearing aids. Once he has them in and adjusted correctly he sits up and brings his knees to his chest.

"Becca told me what happened when she picked me up. We drove straight over here." Bucky tells him. "I'm real sorry."

"Yeah, everybody's real sorry. But none of them'll tell me what happened. I don't even know if they told Barney, 'cause he's in Iowa 'til next week, and I don't know if he's changed his number or anything. What if he comes back and- and he doesn't-" Clint's eyes well up with tears and Bucky pulls him into his arms before they have a chance to fall.

"I know Clint, I know." Bucky murmurs, rubbing his hand down his friend's back while he sobs into his shoulder. Bucky hears something by the door and looks over. Steve's standing in the doorway, a sad tilt to his mouth. The small blond quietly climbs up the ladder to Clint's bed and wraps his arms around Clint's other side.

They spend the rest of the day there, just holding onto Clint and giving him as much comfort as they can. Becca comes up with dinner after a few hours and finds them all sleeping, the two best friends cocooned around the newly orphaned boy.

//⋆\\\

"James!" George Barnes' voice thunders through their house. Bucky cringes and quickly sends a text off to Steve telling him he'll talk later. He scrambles out of bed right as George opens his door.

The tall brunet has a smile on his face, which makes Bucky even more nervous than if he came in scowling. At least scowling was normal.

"James, we caught the man responsible for the Carnival murders!" George Barnes announces proudly. Bucky's eyes go wide.

"What? That's- who was it?" Bucky asks, excited. It's been a month, and even though there haven't been any more murders, there also hasn't been much in the way of news on the case.

"A fellow carnival worker, went by Swordsman, real name Jacques Duquesne. He was smuggling money from the carnival to fund his gambling problem, the Barton's found out and threatened to tell the cops. And you know what happened next." George frowns and shakes his head. "Jacques' show partner, a man who goes by Trickshot, turned him in. Said he would have done it sooner, but he needed more evidence."

"That's great G- Dad! I can't wait to tell Clint!" Bucky says, reaching for his phone.

"Hold on, son. There's more." George says, stilling Bucky's hand. "We were able to tell Barney what happened, but he's not able to get custody of Clint, seeing as how he doesn't have a permanent residence. He could stay in the orphanage like he has been, go through the foster system, but chances are he's never going to get adopted, not with the coverage this has been getting. No one's going to want to adopt the orphaned deaf kid of two murdered carnies." Bucky frowns at George, not knowing where this is going. "I know he's your friend, and Becca says he's a good kid, doesn't get into fights unlike Rogers." Bucky's frown deepens and he curls his hands into fists at the slight to his best friend. "Me and the boys at the force were talking, and I was thinking about adopting him."

Bucky's face goes slack in shock.

"You're gonna adopt Clint?" Bucky asks, still not believing it.

"A couple of guys were thinking of doing it, but none of them live in this school district. We figured he should be kept in the same school, keep him with his friends." George nods to Bucky.

"That's great Dad!" Bucky grins and surges forward to hug his father, heedless of his father's hatred of him. George freezes for a few seconds before carefully wrapping his arms around his son.

Bucky smiles as his father's hands rest on his back, reveling in the feeling of his father's love.

George pats him on the back once before pushing him away again.

"He'll be sharing your room, so you'll need to clear out some space for him. Tomorrow we'll take some time to look for a bed for him and pick up another dresser." George tells his son.

"He likes being up high, he might like a bunk bed better'n a normal one." Bucky tells his dad. George nods, considering this.

"Then we'll have to move out your bed and get a bunk bed in here." George says. "Now get to work on cleaning up this mess. I don't pay for this house for you to mess it up with your junk."

With that the Barnes patriarch leaves his son's room, slamming the door shut. Bucky pays his leave no mind, already diving for his phone to text his friend.

**To: Hawkeye**

_Hey Clint, I got good news!!_

**From: Hawkeye**

_wats up buck_

**To: Hawkeye**

_Dad caught the guy. Swordsman. Trickshot turned him in._

_But that's not all_

_My dad's gonna adopt you! We're gonna be brothers!_

**From: Hawkeye**

_holy shit! trickshot taught me to shoot!_

_HOLY SHIT! WERE GONNA BE BROS?!_

**To: Hawkeye**

_We're gonna share a room and dad's gonna get a bunk bed so you can be up high, and it's gonna be great!_

_I'm gonna tell Steve!_

**To: Stevie**

_Hey Steve, guess what?_

**From: Stevie**

_What Buck?_

**To: Stevie**

_Dad's gonna adopt Clint!_

**From: Stevie**

_That's great Buck. I'm glad for Clint._

**To: Stevie**

_Hey, how come you ain't together?_

**From: Stevie**

_I got a doctor's appointment. Ain't sick or nothing, just a check-up, so don't go worrying._

**To: Stevie**

_Who, me? I never worry bout you. Why would I? Not like you get into fights every day or go to the hospital so often you're friends with all the nurses and most of the docs know you by name._

**From: Stevie**

_Shut up_

Bucky laughs and collapses back on his bed, smiling at the ceiling. He lays there for a few moments before getting up and cleaning his room, getting ready for his friend moving in. Getting ready for his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -We were just defending ourselves, sir. We do not hit others, unlike those bullies. (French)  
> -The idiot does not realize how he feels, the poor boy. (French)  
> -I'm sorry about your mom and dad. (Morse code)  
> -Thanks. Not your fault. (Morse code)  
> -Wanna do this face to face? (Morse code)  
> -Are you okay? (American Sign Language)  
> -Do you want to talk? (American Sign Language)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Child Abuse and Homophobia Warning. Skip from the first break to the second break if it's triggering for you! Synopsis at the end.

"Clint... Get up." Bucky mumbles, only just now wiping the sleep from his own eyes. The huddle of blankets on the bunk above him doesn't stir, so Bucky just shakes the entire bedframe.

"Wha-?" Clint flails about and blinks, reaching over to put in his hearing aids. "What the hell Buck?" He grouses, glaring at his adopted brother.

"Time for school, numb nut." Bucky replies, shuffling over to his dresser. Clint groans again, but dutifully climbs out of bed, muttering curses the entire time. "Get dressed, then you can get coffee."

Clint perks up at that and pulls out a purple t-shirt from a pile of similar purple t-shirts and slides on the discarded jeans he wore yesterday. Bucky pulls a face at him, but after nearly three years of living with him, he's used to Clint's habits. Clint's gone through at least two cups of coffee by the time Bucky emerges, dressed all in black, his blue wool coat clutched in his hand.

"Mornin' Becca." He greets his sister, going over to the counter next to her and pouring himself a bowl of cereal.

"Mornin' Buck." Becca replies, giving him a one-armed hug. "We're picking up Steve today, the Rogers were called in to the hospital this morning." Becca tells them, sipping from her own mug of coffee.

The Drs [Sarah](http://vatzhol.perso.neuf.fr/img13/Scrubs0027.jpg) and [Christine](http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/castle-serie/images/c/cf/Lanie_Parish.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20110330145116&path-prefix=de) Rogers were the latest of Steve's foster parents, and so far have shown the most promise. As two doctors they were able to pay for all of Steve's medical bills, and Steve has flourished under their care. Bucky can't help but hope that they'll adopt him, especially since they share a last name and Sarah reminds Steve of his own mother. The fact that they live close to Bucky is just an added bonus.

They finish their breakfast quickly and Becca herds them into her car, Bucky sitting next to her and Clint sitting in the back. Bucky looks out the window and frowns at the unfamiliar skyline. More than a year after the towers fell, and he's still not used to the hole left in the city. Everyone on the news says it was terrorists, but Steve says there's no way the towers should have just collapsed like that. Bucky's not sure he believes either of them, but he feels sick every time he sees the hole in his skyline and remembers all the lives that died and all the families still grieving.

"Alright Buck, go up and ring the bell." Becca says as she pulls up in front of Steve's house. Bucky gets out of the car and runs up to Steve's door, knocking loudly and ringing the bell. He waits impatiently for Steve to open the door and is about to ring the bell again when the door opens and Steve steps out, hair a mess and bag haphazardly hanging off his shoulder.

"I can hear ya, I ain't Clint." Steve says jokingly and he closes and locks the door behind him.

"Yeah, but your hearing is pretty awful." Bucky replies. "You sure you got everythin'?"

"I got it Buck." Steve rolls his eyes and walks towards Becca's car.

"Hey Steve!" Clint greets his friend as he climbs in beside him. Bucky gets back in the car and Becca pulls away, heading toward the high school.

"Hey Clint. Mornin' Becca!" Steve greets them happily.

"Mornin' Steve. How've you been? Bucky told me you were out for a couple days last week." Becca asks, glancing at him in the rearview. Bucky watches Steve blush and duck his head in the side mirror.

"I'm okay. It was just a little cold, but you know how Sarah and Christie get when I'm sick." Steve shrugs. "Honestly I was fine after that first day, but they wanted to make sure I wouldn't get anything else while my immune system was compromised."

"Can you blame 'em?" Bucky asks, turning to look at his best friend. "Last time you went to school with a cold you came home with the flu!"

"I was fine, Buck!" Steve frowns at him and crosses his arms.

"Or what about that time you got pneumonia 'cause you insisted on going to school even though you were already pretty sick?" Bucky asks, ignoring Steve's protest. "Or when you got chicken pox? Or all the times you've been laid up in bed with a fever, 'cause some other kid came to school with a virus?"

"That last time wasn't even my fault!" Steve protests. "I'm fine, I don't need you to mother hen me all the time!" Steve glares at Bucky, who turns around and seethes out the front window.

No one talks for the rest of the short drive, though Bucky thinks Clint might have turned off his hearing aids, even though he knows he's not supposed to do that when they're driving. Or ever really. When Becca pulls in front of their school, Clint is the first one out of the car, leaving Steve, Bucky, and Becca alone in the car. Becca turns to them and levels them with the Look, the one that says she's about to have a Serious Talk with them.

"Hold up you two, I want to talk to you for a minute." She tells them before either of them can make a move to get out of the car.

Bucky sighs and turns to look at her.

"I don't know what's up with you two, but every time you've been in the same space for long enough, you've had an argument." Bucky looks away for a second, then looks back at her. "And while I'm sure the things you're arguing about are valid issues, they're not what's really wrong. I don't care what the big issue is, but you need to work it out before it drives you apart." Becca fixes them both with hard eyes, leavign no room for them to argue with her. "You need to talk, and soon, but for now get outta my car and go learn something." Steve gets out of the car, but Bucky lingers for a moment.

"You should be going to school for psych, not joinin' the army." Bucky mumbles, leaning over to hug her. Becca wraps her arms around him tightly and squeezes him once before letting him go.

"I'm gonna miss our car talks while I'm over there, but just 'cause I ain't here to kick your ass, doesn't mean you should start doin' stupid ass shit. 'Cause I will find out, and I will come back to put you right. Now get to class, you're gonna be late." Becca smiles and Bucky gets out of the car. He starts to walk away when he hears Becca call his name. He looks back to see her leaning across the seat and holding out her hand.

"Can't forget the good luck fist bumb, now can we?" She says with a wink. Bucky smiles and pumps his fist with hers.

"See you after school, Becca."

//⋆\\\

Bucky and Steve are sitting on Bucky's bed in tense silence as they both try to do their homework. Clint is at his archery lessons, Becca left for training last week, and George Barnes is working late again, so it's just the two friends. Bucky keeps glancing over at his friend, wondering what's causing the uncomfortable silence. More tense minutes pass before Bucky hears Steve sigh and set down his book. Bucky looks up from his own work and frowns at Steve.

"Somethin' wrong, Steve?" Bucky asks him. Steve looks at his lap and bites at his lip.

"There's... I need to tell ya somethin', Buck." Steve looks up and his face hardens into a mask. Bucky's seen the mask many times, though only when Steve refuses to admit he's in pain, and never directed at Bucky.

"You know you can tell me anythin' Steve." Bucky replies, setting his book aside. Steve nods and looks away for a second.

"You gotta promise that this won't change anythin' between us, okay?" Steve asks, staring into Bucky's eyes. Bucky gulps and nods, fear bubbling up in his stomach. He can't help but wonder if there's something wrong with Steve. "Buck, I gotta hear you say it, please." Steve pleads, which does nothing to quell the fear taking over Bucky.

"I promise." Bucky says, scooting nearer to his friend, ready to hug him if he needs to. Steve doesn't look like he's about to cry, but that just means that tears are imminent.

Steve takes a deep breath before saying anything.

"I think, or, I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual. I mean, I really like girls, but I also really like guys, so I asked Sarah and Christie about it, and then I looked some stuff up online, and I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual. Though, I might be pansexual? I'm not totally sure what the difference is right now, but I'm pretty sure I'm bi." Steve explains hastily. Bucky blinks at him then starts laughing. Steve frowns at him and crosses his arms. "I don't get what's so funny, Buck."

"I'm- I'm sorry Stevie, I just- oh man, with the way you were talkin' I thought you were dyin' or somethin'." Bucky laughs again and shakes his head. "Shit, as long as we're talkin' like civilized people, I figure I should tell ya somethin' too." Bucky breathes deep and looks Steve in the eye. "I'm gay. Figured you knew, but if you were stessin' this much about comin' out to me, I guess not."

Bucky shrugs and Steve hits him on the arm.

"'Course I didn't know, jerk!" Steve says, hitting him again.

"Ow, punk!" Bucky says, laughing and rubbing at his arm. He picks up the pillow he'd been using to prop himself up and hits Steve with it, who squeals and grabs his own pillow. They dissolve into fits of giggles as they hit each other with their pillows. Steve throws his away and tackles Bucky, who yelps as they fall onto the floor, wrestling playfully. Steve jabs his long fingers into Bucky's sides, causing him to squeal.

"No... fair! Punk! You're not, ah, even ticklish!" Bucky laughs out, trying to defend himself as they roll across the floor, Steve unrelenting in his attack. Bucky finally hooks one leg around the small teen and flips over so he's straddling him, pining Steve's hands to the floor by his head. "Yield!" Bucky demands.

"Never!" Steve responds, somehow managing to shift his weight around to flip them over again, so he straddles Bucky's waist, Bucky's hands grasped in his.

They stay like that, panting, Steve staring down at Bucky, and Bucky staring up at Steve, for an unknown amount of time. Bucky gets lost in Steve's eyes, the feel of him pining him down and straddling his waist. Maybe it's his imagination, but it looks like Steve is looking at his lips, leaning down. Bucky's eyes start to close and he slowly begins to lean up.

"James!" His father's voice startles him and both he and Steve look over to his door, which they realize they forgot to close, and find George Barnes standing there, face red in anger.

Bucky pushes Steve off of him and stands in front of him, blocking him from his father's rage.

"D-Dad, I, we, I didn't hear you come in." Bucky stumbles over his words, eyes wide as he stares at his dad. George Barnes steps into his room and towers over Bucky, even though he's only a few inches shorter than the older man.

"What the fuck were you two doing?" George demands. Bucky gulps and opens his mouth to answer, but George cuts him off. "I told you I don't like Rogers being in my house! He's a bad influence on you, always has been, though I suppose a wife-killer like you doesn't need a no-good orphan like him to drag you down." George yells into his son's face, and Bucky can smell the alcohol on his breath.

"We weren't doing anything, Dad. We were just wrestling, I promise!" Bucky tells him. George backhands him and Bucky stumbles to the right, falling onto his floor.

"Did I ask you to speak, boy?!" George yells. Steve jumps in between them, a fierce look on his face.

"Mr Barnes, I assure you nothing happened between me and your son." Steve tells him. Bucky looks on with wide eyes as his father turns his glare to Steve.

"Did I ask you, fag?" George hisses. Bucky scrambles up before Steve can do something stupid and grabs his arm.

"Steve! Just-" Bucky glances at his dad, "just get your things and go home, okay? We'll finish the project later." Steve turns to him and Bucky pleads with him with his eyes. "Just, go home, please?" He whispers brokenly. Steve stares at him for a few seconds, that fierce glint in his eyes before it crumbles into understanding and he nods, going over to quickly pack his bag.

Steve hitches his bag over his shoulder and moves to stand in front of George Barnes.

"Since you don't want me in your house anyways, I'd like to leave. So I can stop _tainting your son_ with my _gayness_." Steve says, glaring at the eldest Barnes. George steps out of the way, careful not to touch Steve. Bucky watches with a sad expression as Steve turns around and gives him a long Look, then turns around and leaves Bucky alone with his father.

George Barnes turns to his son and storms over to him, grabbing him by his shirt.

"I told you not to bring Rogers over here! And what do I find when I come home? You and Rogers, on the floor looking like a couple'a fags!" George roars, shaking Bucky like a rag doll.

"We were working on a project!" Bucky insists. George shoves him away, causing Bucky to hit his head on the bunk bed's frame.

"Did I fucking ask you, fag?" George demands. Bucky shakes his head and winces at the pain from where he hit his head.

George grabs him again and drags him out of his room, down the hallway, then down the stairs to his office. Bucky shakes with the knowledge of what's about to come. George throws Bucky against his desk, knocking the air out of him and making Bucky lean across the desk, gasping for breath. Bucky squeezes his eyes shut and braces himself.

Bucky winces at the sound of his father sliding his belt out of his pants and grips the edge of the desk as tightly as he can.

_Crack!_

Bucky chokes on a scream as the first lick of the leather belt.

_Crack!_

Tears build up in Bucky's eyes, and he bites his lip to keep back his screams.

_Crack!_

Bucky bites down on his lip hard enough to draw blood.

_Crack!_

Bucky grips the desk tighter.

_Crack!_

"Get up." George demands. Bucky slowly releases the edge of the desk, fingers stiff from his white-knuckled grip.

"I said get up!" George yells, yanking Bucky up from the back of his shirt. Bucky lets out a strangled cry at the sudden movement, the pain from his backside flaring up. George pulls him back and shoves him against his wall. Bucky slides down the wall and lets his tears fall from his eyes. George looms over him and glares down.

"Your mother would be disgusted if she knew the child she gave her life to bring into this world was a fucking faggot!" George said, spitting on his child. "Get outta my sight, and hope I don't ever see that Rogers kid here again, because if I do he'll be getting the same treatment." George kicks his son once in the stomach before turning and leaving the room.

Bucky picks himself up leaves the room, shakily climbing the stairs. He climbs into his bed and lays down, curled away from the door.

He stays like that, silently crying, for hours. Clint comes home after the first half hour and greets Bucky cheerfully. When Bucky doesn't respond he assumes he went to sleep and he carefully leaves the room. Bucky stays where he is, not sleeping, well after Clint has retired to his own part of the bunk.

//⋆\\\

Bucky slumps down in his seat and groans. His day has steadily gotten worse, starting with him sleeping through his alarm and causing both him and Clint to miss their bus, and forcing them to run to school with Clint glaring at him the entire time. They were late to their first class, of course, but what made it worse was that their first block was gym, and Coach Strucker already hated Bucky for getting his star athletes in trouble for picking on Steve so many times. So he got detention that afternoon. Then it turns out a big project was due in Science, which he, of course, forgot at home, so now Steve's mad at him for bringing down his grade. And now he's got history, where he sits next to Tony Fucking Stark, who has been trying to get Steve to say yes to a date with him for a few weeks now.

"What crawled up your butt?" Tony asks him. Bucky groans even more and puts his head in his hands. He does not want to deal with Stark right now.

"It's nothing Tony." Bucky answers him from where his head's buried in his hands.

"Well excuse me for not wanting to deal with your shitty mood all class." Tony replies sarcastically. "You and Steve have another fight or something? More trouble in paradise? 'Cause I wouldn't mind taking him off your hands for you. Maybe you could put in a good word. Or, I guess that wouldn't work if you're fighting. Are you fighting? 'Cause I could use this to my advantage if you are, I can totally be the consoling friend."

Bucky looks up and growls at him.

"Shut the fuck up, _Stark_ , before I _make_ you shut up." He snarls, giving Tony what Clint call his 'murder eyes'. Tony gulps and holds up his hands in surrender.

"Is there a problem, gentlemen?" Their teacher, Mr Howlett, asks them.

"No sir." Bucky answers quickly.

"Then kindly pay attention to the class, rather than Stark." Mr Howlett says before turning back to the board. Bucky turns to glare at Tony, but finds the other kid looking straight ahead. Bucky follows his example and loses himself in the monotony of class.

"Barnes, Stark, stick back would'ya?" Mr Howlett asks as the rest of the class files out into the hallway. Bucky sighs and turns around, heading toward his desk. "What was that this morning? And tell me the truth this time."

"It was no-"

"If you tell me it was nothing, Barnes, I'll give you detention, on top of what Strucker gave you this morning." Mr Howlett threatens. Bucky groans and sighs.

"If I may, Logan?" Tony interjects, getting Mr Howlett's attention. "It wasn't Barnes' fault, much as I'd like it to be. I saw he was in a bad mood, and I antagonized him despite that. I take full responsibility for his disruption." Bucky gapes at Tony and Mr Howlett scrutinizes him. He considers for a moment before shrugging.

"Whatever, just get to your next class." Mr Howlett waves them off with a pass for each of them and Bucky practically flees the classroom. His next class is with Steve, and he'd like to explain why he forgot their project.

"What, no thanks?" Tony asks as he walks beside him.

"Get outta my face Tony, before I break yours." Bucky growls at him.

"Eh, you're not gonna break my face. Steve likes me, and you don't fight Steve's friends." Tony shrugs, turning to walk backwards so he can look at Bucky. "'Sides, how can I kiss him if I've got a broken face?" Bucky stops walking and curls his hands into his fists.

"Look, Tony, I don't have time for your games, so just get outta my face and let me get to my next class in peace." Bucky tells him, mentally counting to ten.

"Maybe, I have to go this way too. Not everything's about you, Buckster. Besides, I wanna ask you about Steve. Do you think he's more of a flowers and chocolate man, or would he prefer a less subtle approach?"

Bucky doesn't think, he just punches Tony in the face, unaware that a teacher just rounded the corner and saw them in the hallway.

"Barnes!" The teacher, who Bucky doesn't remember ever seeing before, yells, walking over to them. He kneels down next to Stark, who's splayed out on the floor and clutching his nose.

"I think it's broken!" Tony wails, sounding that specific kind of nasal that only comes from a broken nose.

"Barnes, you're coming with me!" The teacher tells him, helping Tony up. "We're taking him to the nurse's, then you and I are going to the guidance counselor's."

Bucky walks silently beside them as the teacher walks Tony down to the nurse's office, Tony moaning about his broken nose the entire time. It's already swelling and his eyes are going black closest to the bridge. The teacher, who is still unknown to Bucky, grabs Bucky by the arm after they leave Tony in the hands of the nurse and frogmarches him to the guidance offices.

"Mr Barnes." Karen Page, the counselor's student helper greets him as he enters their offices.

"Hey Karen." Bucky replies with a wave. They've become sort-of friends since the start of the school year, when Bucky and Steve were deposited in the guidance counselor's care after they came to the defense of Matt Murdock, one of her best friends. Every so often Karen and Foggy, the other student helper and Matt's other best friend, get them out of trouble for defending kids from bullies.

"What happen? You stop a fight again?" Karen asks with a soft smile. Bucky cringes and shakes his head.

"Not exactly..."

"Mr Barnes started one, actually." The unknown teacher answers. "Mr Stark is currently in the nurse's office with a broken nose, thanks to Mr Barnes' fist."

Karen's eyes go wide and her mouth falls open. "Oh. I'll, um, get Dr Strange." Karen says before disappearing into his office. The teacher walks Bucky over to the chairs opposite Karen's desk and sits him down.

"James Barnes." Dr Strange, known to Steve and Bucky as Stephen, greets him as he walks out of his office followed by Karen. "I hear you've been fighting. That doesn't seem like you, now does it?"

Bucky shrugs. "Well, it happened, and I did it, so it must be like me." He answers, getting up from his seat. Mystery teacher latches onto his arm and stops him from following Dr Strange into his office. Bucky tries to shake him off, but the teacher holds on tightly.

"Dr Strange, Mr Barnes assaulted another student and broke his nose. He should be suspended immediately." The teacher tells him. Stephen looks from the teacher to where he's gripping Bucky's arm, then back to the teacher.

"I'm sorry, but that is my decision to make. You do not know Mr Barnes like I do, and I will determine what, if any, action should be taken _after_ I talk to him about what caused his outburst. _Then_ , and only then, I will take my decision to the principal, who will determine Mr Barnes' punishment." Stephen turns to Bucky and gives him a slight smile. "Now, Bucky, if you wouldn't mind following me into my office."

Bucky shakes off the teacher's hand and follows Stephen into his, unfortunately, familiar office, closing the door behind them. Stephen settles into his chair and Bucky takes the one on the other side of the desk.

"Karen said you punched Stark in the face." Stephen says.

"Tony was being a dick." Bucky mutters, leaning back and folding his arms over his chest.

"I'm sure he was, but that doesn't give you an excuse to break his nose." Stephen answers, raising his eyebrows.

"I was having a crappy day, and Tony pissed me off. I snapped, and punched him. I feel bad about breaking his nose, though."

"Yes, I heard you came in late and Coach Strucker gave you detention. But there must be more to it than that, Bucky." Stephen presses. Bucky shrugs and looks away. "Maybe something to do with Steve?"

"Why does everyone think my life revolves around Steve?! Can't I just be having a crappy day, without Steve being the cause of it?!" Bucky yells, frowning. Stephen holds his hands up and leans back in his chair.

"Is that the problem, that you don't think people see you outside of Steve?" Stephen asks.

"No." Bucky answers, shaking his head. "The problem is that most of the time they're right. I've been friends with Steve for half my life, I care for the guy, and I know he cares for me too. I'm happy he's got more friends than just me an' the Commandoes now, and I'm fucking ecstatic that he hasn't been beaten up in over a month, not since he started hangin' out with Tony more. But we've been gettin' into more and more fights lately, and Becca told me to work it out with him before she started basic, but we haven't talked without yellin' since the beginnin' of the school year." Bucky shakes his head and frowns. "I've got no clue how to talk ta him anymore, but he's still my best friend, y'know? I don't even know if I'm still _his_ best friend, but I don't know how to stop lo-" Bucky cuts himself off, not wanting to finish his thought. He knows where it was going, and he's not ready to share that information with anyone.

"You don't know how to stop doing what Bucky? We've talked about you needing to finish your thoughts." Stephen prompts. Bucky shakes his head.

"Sorry, doc, but I don't see how this has anythin' to do with me punchin' Tony in the face."

"Then tell me about that. What led you to strike another student?" Stephen asks, allowing Bucky to change the topic.

"I was havin' a pretty bad day. Got to school late, got detention, forgot me an' Steve's science project at home, which means Steve' mad at me, then I get to Mr Howlett's class and Tony starts talking to me 'bout how he's tryin' to ask Steve out. An' I don't mind, I know Steve like him and Stark ain't a bad guy, but that don't mean I want Stark tellin' me about how he's gonna try an' get him to say yes. So I tell 'im to shut up, then after the class Mr Howlett holds up back to talk about it, an' Tony takes the blame, which he should, 'cause it was his fault. So we're heading to our next classes, and Tony's bein' his usual self, so I tell 'im to stop it, but he keeps going, talkin' 'bout how he's gonna get Stevie flowers an' chocolate an' shit, an' how he's gonna kiss 'im an' shit. An' I don't know, I just get really angry at 'im, and at how me an' Steve ain't gettin' along, and I jsut punch 'im, didn't even realize it 'til that teacher yells at me an' I see Tony on the ground, clutchin' at his nose, an' yellin' 'bout how it's broken." Bucky rubs at his face and shakes his head. "I don't know, doc. I don't hate Tony, he's an okay guy, never teased Steve or bullied him, not seriously. Sure he teased him a little, but that was just friendly teasin', y'know? An' I'm glad he's tryin' to treat Steve right, 'cause Steve deserves to be treated like that, Steve deserves everythin'. Fuck, Steve deserves the universe, an' if anyone can give it to 'im, it's Stark." Bucky sighs. frowning. "I don't know why I hit Tony, but I feel bad about it."

"Perhaps I can provide an outsider's view?" Stephen suggests. Bucky just shrugs, allowing Stephen to talk. "You said you and Steve were having fights, you seemed concerned that you're growing apart. Perhaps that, on top of all of your other concerns, caused you to lash out at Tony, especially when it seems he is replacing you in Steve's life."

Bucky can't help but laugh at that.

"You make it sound like I was Steve's boyfriend." Bucky says, laughing. Stephen doesn't laugh, simply raises his eyebrows. Bucky cuts off his laughter and gapes at him. "You've gotta be kidding me. I wasn't Steve's boyfriend!" Bucky protests.

"But you cannot deny you had a very intimate relationship." Stephen counters. Bucky blushes and shakes his head.

"We weren't like that, doc. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I don't mind that Steve's bisexual, it'd be hypocritical if I did 'cause I'm gay. But we were never- no- he didn't- doesn't- Steve an' I ain't-" Bucky stops himself and shakes his head. "Steve doesn't think of me like that." Bucky finally says, with all the assurance of someone with an unrequited crush.

"But you do?" Stephen surmises.

"Well, yeah. But I ain't gonna tell 'im that, don't wanna ruin our friendship."

"It seems to me, that your friendship is already ruined." Stephen replies. Bucky glares at him and grits his teeth. "From what you've told me, it doesn't seem like you two are acting like friends anymore. If anything, you sound as if you're going through a break-up."

"Look, doc, as much as I love these chats of ours, I'd like to get to at least one class on time." Bucky says, standing. Stephen watches him and nods.

"Of course. I'll write you a pass if you like?" Stephen offers. Bucky shakes his head.

"Nah, I should be able to get there on time. Thanks for the talk, and," Bucky waves his hand, "everythin'."

Bucky manages to make it to his next class, another one he shares with Steve. He shuffles in along with the other students without fuss and slides into the desk next to Steve's.

"Bucky, where were you last period? Mrs Jones marked you as skipping." Steve asks him, leaning across his own desk.

"I was with Stephen." Bucky tells him, pulling out his notebook. "I, uh, punched Tony in the face." He admits, wincing.

"What?!"

"I know, I know. He's your friend, an' you like him, but man, he can be a real dick sometimes." Bucky shakes his head. "Look, I've been havin' a really crappy day, alright? I missed the alarm, me an' Clint had to run here, then fuckin' Strucker gives me detention, I forgot our science project, so I let you down, then Tony starts in on how he's gonna woo ya, which I don't mind, he's a good guy, but jeez he just doesn't know when to shut up. So I snap and I sock 'im in the nose, then this teacher, who I've never seen before by the way, rounds the corner an' sees me, then hauls me down to Stephen's office."

"You didn't let me down, Buck." Steve mutters.

"What?"

"You didn't let me down." Steve repeats. "An' I don't like Tony. Not like that."

"What?" Bucky repeats himself, like the genius he is.

"Why do you think I keep sayin' no?" Steve laughs.

Bucky starts to reply, but their teacher calls for attention, so both he and Steve turn to face the front.

Bucky doesn't really get much done that class, the words 'I don't like Tony. Not like that' circling his mind in Steve's voice. The bell rings, startling Bucky from his thoughts. He looks down at his paper and see's that he's written the phrase all over his paper.

"Hey Buck." Steve says, getting his friend's attention. Bucky jumps and slams his notebook shut, heat engulfing his face.

"What?" Bucky asks, startled.

"Hurry up and pack your things, we've still got to get through lunch and then one more class." Steve tells him, hitching his own bag up higher on his bony shoulders.

"Yeah, I'll be a sec." Bucky responds, already shoving his things into his bag haphazardly. He zips it up and walks with Steve to the cafeteria. It's an awkward walk, not only because of all the fighting they've been doing, but also because Bucky is still reeling from the revelation that Steve does not in fact like Tony Stark.

"You want me to come over so we can study together. It didn't seem like you were paying much attention to class." Steve suggests, startling Bucky out of his thoughts.

"No." Bucky says immediately, his father's beating still fresh enough to cause phantom pains when he thinks about it. "Uh, Dad's gonna be home, and he doesn't like it when you come over, you know that." Bucky flushes and looks away. "Especially after what happened last time."

Steve's face darkens and he clenches his jaw.

"How many times do I have to tell you to call Child Services before you do?" Steve asks him angrily.

"I told you Steve, I can't do that." Bucky responds with a sigh. "Maybe if Becca was here I could, but she's not so I can't. You know I can't do that to Clint. If I call Child Services, or the police, or anyone, they'll send him back to the orphanage and he'll end up in foster care again." Bucky shakes his head. "Besides, it's not like they'll believe me. He never does it when there's anyone else around, so there's no witnesses besides me. Who're they gonna believe? The cop, or the kid with a record of trouble-making and a permanent record two inches thick?"

"That's bullshit and you know it! Beside's it's not like any of that was your fault, most of that is 'cause of me! And they gotta believe you, especially if you show 'em the scars!" Steve insists.

"There ain't any scars, Steve! That's the point! He doesn't leave any marks that could tie back to him. He knows how to do damage without leaving any sign of it." Bucky replies, attempting to keep his voice down.

"You can't let him keep doing this to you!" Steve presses. "If you don't do anything, then I will!"

"Steve! Just leave it alone, will ya? God, I told you I can't do anything, so just drop it for fuck's sake!" Bucky yells at his friend. There's a few people in the hallway that are staring at them, but neither of them pay any attention.

"Fuck no I ain't gonna leave it alone!" Steve yells back. "What would you do if it was me? Huh? What would you do if one'a my foster parent's decided to beat me 'cause I had asthma, or I was costin' them too much in hospital bills? What would Bucky Barnes do if a foster parent called me a fag?"

"That's different, Steve!" Bucky insists, still yelling, hands clenched by his sides. Not that he would ever hit Steve.

"How the fuck is that any different that what George does to you?" Steve shouts.

"It just is, dammit!" There's a crowd, and a few teachers seem to have been called. The Howling Commandoes are there, trying to push through, but between the teachers and the rubberneckers, it's nearly impossible.

"WHY?!"

"Because you're more important than I am, Steve!" Bucky shouts.

Steve punches him in the face.

The teachers rush forward and pull Steve away from Bucky. Bucky can't help but look at Steve like a wounded puppy, but Steve just glares back at him.

"Don't you dare say that about yourself! Don't you dare talk about my best friend like that James Buchannan Barnes! I don't give a fuck what you're poor excuse for a father says, you are the most important person in my life, and don't you dare say otherwise! You hear me you piece of shit!" Steve yells at him, even as he's being dragged away by two teachers.

Bucky can't do anything but hold his cheek and watch as they drag his best friend away.

"Bucky, are you okay?" Peggy asks, the Howling Commandoes rushing toward him once they're finally able to break through the crowd.

"I don't know." He replies honestly.

"C'mon, let's get you to the nurse." Jim says, grabbing Bucky's arm and steering him away from the scene.

Bucky's silent the entire time he's in the nurses office. When she lets him go, he walks to his next class alone, aware of the students staring at him as he walks through the halls. He doesn't care what they're whispering to each other, doesn't care what they think happened. He doesn't really care about anything right now. He sits through his next two classes silently, taking notes and going through the motions of being a productive student. He doesn't remember what they did by the time he leaves the classroom.

He only barely remembers to go to detention, but he eventually finds himself sitting in his usual seat at the back. He's not paying attention to what's going on around him, so it comes as a surprise when he see's Steve slid into a seat near him out of the corner of his eye. It shouldn't be surprising to find him here after their very public fight, but he's still shocked to see him. Or maybe he's just shocked to see Steve sitting so close to him.

Phil Coulson, the teacher in charge of detention, calls the roll, making sure everyone that should be here is here. Some of the other students look back at them when Steve and Bucky's names are called, but Bucky honestly doesn't care what they think.

Bucky's time in detention passes slowly, the ticks of the clock seemingly infinities apart. There's only four other people in the room, all of them familiar to Bucky. There's Peter "Starlord" Quill, whom he and Steve went to elementary school with. Then there's Peter Parker, who seems nice enough, but has a problem with bullies picking on him. Bucky doesn't know what he could have done to put him in detention, but he figures it has something to do with Flash Thompson. Matt Murdock is sitting at the desk closest to the door, reading one of his braille books. He has a couple fading cuts on his face, and what looks like a black eye hidden by his red glasses. Finally, sitting right by Coulson's desk, beside Peter Parker, is Wade Wilson. Bucky heard he nearly broke a guy's arm after the guy beat up Parker, but for all he knows it's just a high school rumor. However, it's a well known fact that Wade has an unhealthy obsession with Peter Parker, trailing him around and calling him Spider Man or Spidey, and talking about how the 'fans' are just dying for them to get together. A majority of the school thinks he has some kind of mental disorder, but a couple people think he's just weird.

About halfway through their confinement, Wade pulls out a stack of pancakes. Bucky has no idea where he got them, and from the expressions on Steve, Peter Quill, and Coulson's faces, he guesses they don't either. Matt turns his head and frowns, muttering to himself about artificial pancake syrup and prepackaged pancake mix. Wade doesn't pay them any mind, happily digging into his stack of pancakes.

"Mr Wilson, there's no eating in detention." Coulson reminds him.

"Hwrf erlf m I grnna gurt derner?" Wade asks with his mouth full of the golden circles.

"Mr Wilson, please swallow before talking." Coulson says with a sigh.

"I said, how else am I gonna get dinner?" Wade repeats himself.

"After detention, just like everyone else." Coulson replies.

"But the pancakes will be cold!" Wade protests. Coulson sighs and rubs at his eyes, muttering to himself. By the door, Matt chuckles.

"Fine. Just, finish the stack. And no talking." Coulson relents, settling further into his desk chair. Wade happily goes back to eating his pancakes and Bucky goes back to moping. Not that he's moping. No, sir. James Buchannan Barnes does not mope.

When Coulson dismisses them, Bucky tries to escape before Steve catches him, but that doesn't work out.

"Bucky, wait up!" Steve calls after him. Bucky pretends not to hear and keeps walking.

"Bucky, please, stop!" Steve keeps calling. Bucky picks up his pace.

"Bucky, please, just stop, please Buck! I need ta talk to ya, please! Just let me explain!" Steve is stubborn and keeps trailing after Bucky. Bucky begins to flat out run, he doesn't want to talk to Steve right now, he doesn't want to face Steve right now.

"Bucky! Bucky please!" Steve's voice still calls out to him, repeating the same message over and over again. Until it doesn't. Bucky doesn't want to, but he turns around.

Steve is hunched over, one hand on his knee, the other gripping the fence beside him. His chest his heaving and his small frame is obviously shaking, even from a distance.

"Shit." Bucky curses to himself, running back over to Steve.

Steve's having an asthma attack, a really bad one judging from the rattle in his chest.

"Shit, Steve." Bucky curses again as he kneels next to him, resting a hand on his back. "Shit, breathe Stevie! C'mon, you gotta breathe for me, please!" Bucky rubs at his back with one hand and searches his pockets for his inhaler with the other. "Fuck, Steve, where's your inhaler? C'mon, Stevie!" Steve doesn't answer, just continues to struggle to breathe. His lips and finger tips are starting to go slightly blue. "Fuck, fuck, fuck! Shit, Stevie, c'mon, c'mon, it's okay, it's okay, it'll be fine." Bucky mutter to Steve as he flips his own back pack around and digs through the front pocket for Steve's emergency inhaler. He pulls it out with a triumphant shout and shakes it up before pressing it to Steve's lips. "Okay, it'll be okay, I'm going to press it and you gotta breathe in for me, okay? On three." Bucky watches as Steve wraps his lips around the inhaler and Bucky keeps him steady. "One. Two. Three." On three Bucky presses down and Steve inhales. Bucky takes the inhaler away and shakes it up again. "Okay, we're gonna do that again." He presses it back to Steve's lips and the other boy takes it into his mouth again, this time one of his hands joining Bucky's to keep the inhaler pressed against his mouth. "One. Two. Three." Again Bucky presses down, and again Steve breathes in. "Okay, one more time Stevie." Bucky says as he shakes the inhaler again. "One. Two. Three." Bucky presses, Steve breathes in. When Bucky takes the inhaler away again Steve is able to breathe normally again, albeit slightly labored.

"Oh thank fuck." Bucky breathes, wrapping Steve in his arms and squeezing him tightly.

"Bucky…" Steve rasps, hugging him back.

"I thought I fucking lost you Steve." Bucky mumbles into his neck. He lifts his head and stares at Steve with watery eyes. "I was so scared. Your lips were turning blue, Steve, and I couldn't find your fucking inhaler! I didn't want you to die! I didn't want you to go thinking I hated you! Shit, Steve, I could never hate you, I couldn't do it, not if they brainwashed me or wiped you from my memory a thousand times. I'm so sorry if you thought I hated you. You're stubborn as all get out, and you get into fights you can't win, but goddammit, I can't imagine what would've happened if you- I thought you were gonna-"

Steve shuts him up by kissing him. Bucky's mind temporarily short-circuits and when it reboots itself, Steve is staring at him with a fond smile playing at his lips.

"I love you, Bucky."

Bucky's brain short-circuits again.

"What?"

"I love you." Steve repeats. "Always have. I was tryin' to tell ya when I came out to ya, but we sorta got distracted. If George hadn't come home early, I woulda kissed ya right there on the floor."

Bucky doesn't know what to say, so he acts.

He leans forward and kisses Steve. Unlike when Steve kissed him, both parties take an active roll in the kissing. Steve clutches at Bucky's hair and Bucky wraps his arms around Steve's bony chest, hugging him as close as possible. Steve pulls away first, panting slightly.

"Bucky, we both gotta get home." Steve reminds him, resting his forehead against Bucky's.

"Don' wanna." Bucky murmurs. "Wanna stay with you."

"You can't." Steve pulls away and shakes his head. "You gotta get home before George."

The mention of his father is like a bucket of cold water being poured over Bucky.

"Right." Bucky swallows and slowly stands up, helping Steve to his feet as he does. Bucky picks up his back pack and puts the inhaler back where it goes, zipping it closed. He starts to walk away, but Steve stops him with a hand on his wrist.

"Wait, Buck. I, I mean, if you want, I'd like it if we, maybe, did that again?" Steve looks at Bucky carefully, gauging his reaction. Bucky smiles at him and cocks his head to the side.

"You askin' me to go steady Rogers?" Bucky asks smoothly. Steve laughs at him and shakes his head in amusement.

"And if I was Barnes?" Steve replies saucily. Bucky grins and steps towards him again.

"I'd do this." He whispers before leaning down and kissing Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Becca has left for basic training, Clint is out of the house for an archery class, and George is at work. Steve and Bucky are studying in Bucky's room while the house is empty and Steve tells Bucky he's bisexual, to which Bucky responds that he's gay. They joke and wrestle, ending up with Steve straddling Bucky. They both start to lean in, like they're about to kiss, but they're interrupted by George Barnes coming home and catching them. He yells at Bucky and calls Steve homophobic slurs, then Bucky tells Steve to go home. Once Steve leaves George abuses Bucky both physically and verbally, calling him slurs in reference to his sexuality and the fact that his mother died after giving birth to him. The abuse stops before Clint comes home.


End file.
